Do You Understand?

Do you understand the frustration of trying to get someone to realize that life is always worth living?
Do you understand how hard it is to convince them?

God made you, gave you life, whether you like it or not, and He's got a reason for it. Don't you dare question whether life is worth living. Your life is more precious than His own. He holds you in that regard. He's been watching you since your parents got married, He's been guiding your friends, your enemies, your surroundings, just to protect you, to keep you safe. You might suffer a few small injuries, but your life is much more valuable than your flawless skin. You've taken a few lessons home with visible results. But to turn a blind eye to this, to forget those lessons and decide that God never had a reason for you...how that must hurt God. Do you realize that? Do you understand?

Do you understand how many people are fearing for your life right now?
Do you understand what kind of heartache you're causing?

These people, all these people you think won't even notice that you're gone, are the people who treasure you. How could you even think you have the right to take yourself away from them? Do you know how much it hurts them that you think they don't love you? It makes them wonder what they did wrong, what they failed to do to show you just how much they love you. They would put themselves in your place just to keep you from suffering this kind of pain, this kind of insecurity. Do you realize that? Do you understand?

Have you ever been in such a situation? Did you ever want to take a hurting person out of their situation? I know you have, and I know you remember just how you felt, that overflowing love and compassion that you tried to reach them with. This is precisely the position we are in now. And you, refusing the lifelines, are the hurting one.

No one knows the answer you're looking for. I don't think even you know. You just want everyone else to be wrong so you can be right. You've predicted what kinds of answers they'll give and you've already rejected them. You don't want to be understood, you don't want to give up your pride and rebellion and unhappiness because you don't know how. How do you give up the thing that's giving you such a power over your peers, over your authority? How can you even imagine living without it? While you're holding onto it, it's impossible. You can't see life without being able to manipulate things, make things go your way. Do you realize that? Do you understand?

Do you understand that there's no right answer?
Do you understand that there's nothing we can do to stop you?

You've rejected the medicine, and now all the power is in your hands. You can do what you like, and we're powerless to stop you. What will you do with that power? Eventually the high of having its unlimited source wears off, and you won't want it anymore. It's then that you truly don't have a reason to live, not because there isn't one, but because you've thrown aside those reasons. God, family, friends, love, everything that is good in life you've just tossed aside for your little rampage of power. The funny thing is that the reasons are still there. All those reasons you didn't think were good enough.
Do you realize that? Do you understand?

Do you understand now?

-C. (2009)